How to interview a new therapist?
- Amy Studer
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
A therapy consultation is a low-pressure starting point designed to help both the client and the therapist decide if working together feels like the right fit. From the client’s perspective, it’s a chance to ask questions, share what they’re hoping to get support with, and get a feel for the therapist’s style, values, and comfort with their identities or experiences—without committing to ongoing therapy.
From the therapist’s perspective, the consultation helps clarify the client’s goals, assess whether their needs fall within the therapist’s scope and expertise, and ensure they can provide ethical, affirming, and effective care. Ultimately, a consultation centers consent, choice, and collaboration, setting the foundation for a therapeutic relationship that feels safe, intentional, and mutually aligned.
What questions should I be prepared to answer?
During a therapy consultation, clients aren’t expected to tell their whole life story, but there are a few common questions they may be asked to help determine fit and next steps. With any question you are asked “I’m not sure yet” is a perfectly acceptable answer. A consultation is about exploration and consent—not performance, readiness, or having the “right” words. The questions therapist choose to ask are based upon what is already covered in their paperwork, style, region, or experience in that area.
1. What’s bringing you to therapy right now?
A general overview of what’s feeling hard or prompting you to seek therapy services.
2. What are you hoping therapy might help with?
This can be specific (anxiety, relationship conflict) or vague (“I just know something needs to change”).
3. Have you been in therapy before? If so, what worked or didn’t work?
This helps avoid repeating past harm and tailor the approach.
4. Are there any identities, values, or experiences that are important for your therapist to understand?
Examples include LGBTQIA+ identity, non-monogamy, disability, kink, culture, or religious trauma.
5. What kind of support are you looking for right now?
Skills, emotional processing, problem-solving, validation, structure, or a mix.
6. Are there any immediate safety concerns?
Such as suicidal thoughts, self-harm, domestic violence, or crisis needs—asked to ensure appropriate care, not to judge.
7. What does your current support system look like?
Friends, partners, family, community, or lack thereof.
8. Are there practical considerations we should plan for?
Scheduling, finances, energy levels, access needs, or disability accommodations.
9. What made you choose to reach out to this practice or therapist?
This helps assess alignment and expectations.
10. Do you have any questions or concerns about therapy itself?
Including fears, skepticism, or boundaries.
What questions can I ask?:
A consultation is just as much for you as it is for the therapist. It's okay to bring a list of questions to help as a memory tool. Here are thoughtful example questions to consider—organized by theme so they don’t feel overwhelming. Typically people will pick 2-3 questions that are most important to them:
Fit & Therapeutic Style
What is your general approach to therapy?
What modalities' do you use with your approach?
How active or directive are you in sessions?
How do you typically structure sessions, if at all?
What does “progress” usually look like in your work with clients?
What education do you have around working with victims of sexual assault and processing past childhood trauma?
What does a treatment plan or treatment goals look like in your practice?
What types of homework assignments do you give in between sessions?
Experience & Competency
Do you have experience working with concerns like mine?
What training or experience do you have with my identities (LGBTQIA+, non-monogamy, disability, kink, neurodivergence, etc.)?
How do you handle situations where you don’t have expertise in a specific area?
Safety, Values & Affirmation
How do you approach power, consent, and boundaries in therapy?
What does being affirming or sex-positive mean in your practice?
How do you respond if a client feels misunderstood or harmed in therapy?
Directness
How direct are you in sessions when you notice patterns or concerns?
Are you comfortable being blunt or straightforward if I ask for it?
If I’m avoiding something or stuck, how likely are you to name that directly?
Do you tend to challenge clients, or are you more reflective and gentle?
What do you do if a client wants less validation and more problem-solving?
Logistics & Accessibility
What are your fees, and do you offer sliding scale or group options?
Do you offer virtual sessions or disability accommodations?
What is your policy around cancellations, late arrivals, or rescheduling?
How do you communicate between sessions, if at all?
Goals & Collaboration
How do we decide what we’ll work on together?
How flexible are goals over time?
How do you incorporate feedback from clients?
Boundaries & Ethics
What are your confidentiality limits?
How do you handle mandated reporting?
What happens if you feel I’d be better served by a different provider?
Endings & Transitions
How do you approach endings in therapy?
If I decide to stop therapy, what does that process look like?
Red-Flag / Gut-Check Questions
What do you enjoy about working with clients?
What populations do you feel least prepared to work with?
What would make someone not a good fit for your practice?
At the end of your consult, it is okay to say “I need to think about this before scheduling an intake” or "I have other interviews, and I will get back to you when I make a decision".
Asking About Language, Culture, and Community Nuance
If you are part of a niche community, subculture, or identity group, it is both appropriate and encouraged to ask a therapist how they understand and use community-centered language. Words can carry very different meanings depending on lived experience, power dynamics, and cultural context—and misunderstandings can cause harm even when intentions are good. During a consultation, you can ask what certain terms mean to the therapist, how they define identity-specific language, or how they stay informed when language evolves within a community. A therapist who is a good fit will welcome these questions, be transparent about what they know (and what they are still learning), and prioritize your definitions and lived experience over assumptions or clinical jargon. Therapy should be a space where you do not have to translate yourself in order to be understood.
Example questions that can be asked:
How do you differentiate between identity labels (e.g., bisexual, pansexual, queer) if a client uses more than one?
How do you approach religious trauma or family rejection within LGBTQIA+ contexts?
If I use reclaimed language or community shorthand, how do you respond if you’re unfamiliar with it?
How do you define consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, and relationship anarchy?
How do define compersion or Meta*?
How do you refer to multiple partners in sessions and documentation?
How do you navigate power dynamics, hierarchy, and consent language within CNM relationships?
How do you differentiate consensual kink from abuse or coercion?
Are you familiar with terms like SSC, RACK, PRICK, aftercare, negotiation, and scenes?
How do you approach discussions around power exchange, roles, or fantasies without pathologizing them?
If I reference community norms or events, how comfortable are you asking clarifying questions?
How do you define neurodiversity and neurodivergence?
Do you use identity-first or person-first language, and how flexible are you with client preference?
How do you approach self-diagnosis or late diagnosis?
If you use a term that doesn’t feel accurate or safe to me, how would you want me to let you know?
What training or understanding do you have on AuDHD and how blackness effects presentation, diagnosis, and stigma?
How will you resound if I have a meltdown in session or send you an email in between sessions about anger I am feeling in reguards to our work together?
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