Relationship(s) can be romantic, sexual, or platonic, and they can be nearby or long distance; they can be monogamous or non-monogamous, and they might be functioning well or not as well as we might like. Regardless of the type of connection, all relationships and connections are valid. We will work on how to build, maintain, transition, and understand the relationships that make life worthwhile, starting with your relationship with yourself.
In romantic relationships, social culture often tells us that one day we will find our “perfect match” and everything will be perfect and feel like a fairytale moving forward. It tells us that if you're with the right person, you should never fight-- and if you do, making up is easy! You should have similar perspectives and values on big life decisions and your sex life should be spectacular! Well, I will be the first to tell you that this is rarely the case, and partners that appear to be this way have done a lot of work (often including counseling and therapy) to get there.
Communication/listening and argument styles may not match, or they may change with more stressful topics, and sexual appetites/libidos change throughout lifespan; fetishes/kinks are not always encouraged by your partner, the idea of what is romantic or intimate varies, and sometimes we have different ideas of the structure (boundaries, living situations, monogamy vs non-monogamy) for our relationships.
We will work together to identify wants and needs, discuss different types of relationship education each partner has received, how we want those needs addressed, boundaries that should be put in place individually and within the relationship as a whole, develop new patterns of successful communication, and/or learn how to connect with each other in a way that feels most authentic to your current dynamic.
Often times, by the time a couple realizes they require therapy, the relationship has reached an unsustainable point and may not be able to survive the many months of weekly sessions required to reach security in the relationship. Couples Intensives intend to remedy this issue, allowing couples to reach an immediate position of sustainability. Intensives allow a concentrated and immersive experience designed to work through 10-12 weeks of hourly sessions in two days, preventing issues that often come with the time between sessions-- distractions, new fights, the added stress of daily activities, etc.
Without the interruptions, we can to get to root issues and begin processing difficult, uncomfortable emotions and issues in a shorter period of time. Dedicating this time to one another can allow couples to reflect and implement changes in safe and controlled environment.
Day one begins with assessing the situation, spending time identifying issues with the clients as a couple as well as individually, and focusing on the most important problems causing conflict. Following this, we develop a treatment plan that is bespoke to the relationship and the turmoil that is causing the conflict. The remaining time together is dedicated to learning and practicing individual and co-regulating skills and communication techniques, which are meant to help with problem solving and conflict resolution. Then, together, we will build aftercare and action plans for the couple to continue to work on following the conclusion of the intensive. Continued therapy is encouraged to change ingrained patterns of behavior, in order to support more gradual, long-term growth.
Families can be a great source of support and love when everyone is able to come together as one. The reality, however, is we all have different personalities, perspectives, and values. We may not see eye to eye or understand someone else’s perspectives. After time, our communication suffers, and we start to lose trust in one another. Over time the relationship that we have with one another starts to become more complicated.
Family therapy allows individuals to come together to talk about the things that are causing stress, limit their communication skills, and are creating currently physical and emotional distance. We will explore your family history, where each person felt the disconnect started to occur, begin accepting one another for our individual differences, and initiate healthy communication.